Star-crossed lovers Gary and Valene Ewing (Ted Shackelford and Joan Van Ark) shared a reunion on Monday night's episode of TNT's Dallas that was more bitter than sweet. The way brilliant Dallas 2.0 writer Cynthia Cidre has it scripted, Gary and Val—who were blissfully reunited at the end of Knots Landing and still together in 1997 reunion movie Knots Landing: Back to the Cul-de-Sac—have now split, due to Gary falling off the wagon and bankrupting the couple!

While the Knots fan boy in me was a bit brokenhearted to learn Gary and Val hadn't lived a life of happy barbecues with neighbors Karen and Mac Mackenzie (Michele Lee and Kevin Dobson) on Southern California's fictional Seaview Circle, the Wishful Storyteller in me realized Gary and Val's golden years crisis could serve as the perfect launching pad for a new generation of marital melodramas via a Knots Landing continuation! READ MORE

 

What is it about certain soap characters that make everyone in their respective fictional towns pitch tents in their trousers, and/or leave unfortunate puddles on their leather office furnishings? While soaps are filled with awesome lovers, we've decided to count down 15 soapers who must have Kryponite between their legs, because they tend to make much too many sane and seemly people go weak in the knees and in the head! 
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