How Can So Much Sex on B&B be So Incredibly Boring?!

A lot of people have been getting fresh on The Bold and the Beautiful. Maybe it’s something in the Pacific Ocean, or maybe Eric’s been handing out his little blue pills? Is it just me, or is all this copulation rather dull? I shouldn’t be so bored when they're all going at it like jackrabbits. It’s not "Love in the Afternoon" B&B is serving up, it’s a bowl full of limp noodles.

Let’s start with Brooke (Katherine Kelly Lang) and Ridge (Ronn Moss), who last week basked in the afterglow of their romp on a Forrester sofa. Surely that nasty old thing (the sofa, not Ridge) must need fumigating by now? Yuck. I am over their supposed ‘love story’ and long for the day Brooke buys a clue and dumps the buffoon. As it is, she massages his bloated ego week-in, week-out, pausing only to flash her undercrackers:
 

Bridget (Ashley Jones) and Nick (Jack Wagner), meanwhile, managed to fit in two helpings of sexy time. First, on the private jet, which I thought was the property of Forrester Creations; then, in a hotel room at some exotic, unnamed locale. I know ‘Nicket’ have their fans, but really, they are such a dud duo for me. They are as flat and lifeless as Darla was when Taylor had finished with her:

Jackie (Lesley-Anne Down) had what I think were supposed to be ‘cougar’ ears on for Owen (Brandon Beemer):

They had a little chat about loving each other forever and never letting the other one down, etc. Bridget and Nick did the same. It was all quite sappy. Spicing things up, there were those pesky Bridget and Owen flashbacks (see the main pic, above). Grief can make you do funny things!

In the defense of ‘Browen’ – at least they drove home to me just how tepid the other couples are.

Oh, I almost forgot, that silly twit Steffy macked on Oliver, although she didn’t put out for him:

And Pam sprayed Donna, but not with bodily fluids:

By default, Bridget and Owen win the hotness award for last week’s soft-porn infused B&B. Pam and Donna come a close second.