What if Lionel Richie Meets Stacy Morasco on One Life to Live?

In honor of Comodores legend, and one of my favorite singers,  Lionel Richie appearing on One Life to Live, I figured I would offer up what would happen if Richie runs into Llanview's most popular resident while he's in town, set to his iconic-yet-slightly creepy ballad "Hello". 

Lionel: I've been alone with you inside my mind.

Stacy: Yeah, that used to happen to me with Rex, but Paxil cleared it right up!
 
Lionel: And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times.
 
Stacy: Dude, you totally can't say that shit outloud! They will lock you up! Only tell your really pervy stuff to Roxy. No one listens to her or her beaver! 

Lionel: I sometimes see you pass outside my door.
 
Stacy: I was looking for those bags of blood I missplaced.

Lionel: Hello?

Stacy: Goodbye.

Lionel: Is it me you're looking for?

Stacy: Uh, you're starting to creep me out, and trust me, that's saying something!

Lionel: I can see it in your eyes.
 
Stacy: Oh that, I can't blink anymore because of the botox.

Lionel: I can see it in your smile.

Stacy: See above. 
 
Lionel: You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide.

Stacy: Yeah, but you're arms aren't as hot as Rex's. Lift up your shirt!

Lionel: 'Cause you know just what to say.
 
Stacy: That's 'cause Fronsie writes all my dialogue!

Lionel: And you know just what to do.
 
Stacy: Hey, what can I say, I aims to please, on kiddie mats preferrably!

Lionel: And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

Stacy: Aww, you're a total sweetie!

Lionel: I long to see the sunlight in your hair.
 
Stacy: Dude, hello? Dye job, but you're awesome to pretend not to notice!

Lionel: And tell you time and time again, how much I care.
 
Stacy: Okay, I think we might need a break...

Lionel: Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow.
 
Stacy: Did you take too many little blue pills again?!

Lionel: Hello?

Stacy: Dude you so already said hello like five minutes ago! How many of those pills did you take?

Lionel: I've just got to let you know.
 
Stacy: Okay, but can we hurry this along, I have like four dates after this one!

Lionel: 'Cause I wonder where you are.
 
Stacy: Uh, stalker much?

Lionel: And I wonder what you do.
 
Stacy: Okay, I can tell we're having a serious problem with boundaries here.

Lionel: Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?

Stacy: Don't you read Daytime Confidential? Dude, NO ONE is loving me!

Lionel: Tell me how to win your heart.
 
Stacy: Got any blood?

Lionel: For I haven't got a clue.
 
Stacy: Snort. That's obvious!

Lionel: But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Stacy: Next time can you sing "Dancing On The Ceiling"? I did my first strip tease to that!

Lionel: Hello? Is it me you're looking for?
 
Stacy: Oh my freaking GAWD, this song never ends! It's like my storyline!

Lionel: Cause I wonder where you are.
 
Stacy: (sticks fingers in her ears) La La La La.

Lionel:And I wonder what you do.
 
Stacy: Can you get me Nicole's autograph?

Lionel: Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?

Stacy: What about Paris?

Lionel: Tell me how to win your heart.
 
Stacy: A Frederick's of Hollywood shopping spree?

Lionel: For I haven't got a clue.

Stacy: Introducing Cap'n Obvious!

Lionel: But let me start by saying ... I love you

Stacy: Douchebag!