Sam McCall's Top 10 Sisterly Tips for Surviving Port Charles
On today's episode of General Hospital Sam (Kelly Monaco) told Jason (Steve Burton) she'd talk to Kristina (Lexi Ainsworth) about her behavior, since Kristina is her sister. This inspired me to come up with "Sam McCall's Top 10 Sisterly Tips for Surviving Port Charles." I've only come up with ten, but I'm sure there are other tips Kristina will need to know if she wants to survive Port Charles. What other tips should Sam give her sister?
No. 10: Keep your legs closed, you never know what mobster might knock you up.
No. 9: If you kill someone pretend to be psycho or a butler. It worked for your mother and it could work for you.
No. 8: Go to college. A GED just doesn't cut it in this job market.
No. 7: If tempted to let someone kidnap the child of the man you love, don't. It will only come back to bite you in the ass.
No. 6: If you see a man coming towards you covered in tattoos, drop whatever you are doing and run in the other direction. More than likely he's an obsessive psycho.
No. 5: Don't sleep with brothers, it isn't worth the drama. It turns out men take these things personally.
No. 4: Spinelli is a true friend. Once you gain his trust he will do anything for you.
No. 3: Your father is notorious for his anger management problems. Avoid being in a room with him if he is angry. Especially if it contains anything that is glass or isn't bolted down.
No. 2: Have Jason teach you how to handle a gun. Someone may try to kidnap you and you'll need to be able to defend yourself. Oh wait, never mind, he'll just come to rescue you.
No. 1: Mother knows best. Alexis may be neurotic and drive you nuts, but she has your best interest at heart.
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Comments
10 July 2008
1 year 32 weeks
Luke I love you!! Luke that is soooooo funny!!!!
17 February 2009
3 years 20 weeks
No.11:Don't hang around your father too often or you'll end up pregnant.
26 June 2008
15 hours 47 min
oh boy....lol....No 10 was hilarious....and very true in PC.....hopefully it doesn't turn out to be mini mobster and her BROTHER Michael who knocks her up........
1 June 2008
1 year 14 weeks
12. you can tell everyone your secrets .. It is safe in PC... nobody will know it ..
22 August 2008
2 years 10 weeks
LMAO at INEEDAHUGANDMED & GH LOVER
13. Invest in a hot tub
14. Hire men who live of out of state to terrorize a mother and her two small children so you don't caught.
1 June 2008
1 year 14 weeks
15. don't worry if something bad happen to you and D"R Lee says that you can't have children you will have children..
16. don't be around stairs and Carly it is dangerous...
17. people in PC don't die they always come back in many ways like twin you never knew..
15 July 2008
2 days 5 hours
18. If you think some snooty beyotch is stalking your fiance, trust your instincts
19. If someone attacks you, fight back. You dont need a man to rescue you, when you are a kick ass chick like me. Just ask Diego.
20. BEWARE OF LIZARDS!
19 July 2008
23 weeks 23 hours
21? Stay away from the docks. Something is always going down there. You will either witness a crime, commit a crime, overhear something you really don't wanna know, or end up drowning in the water.
24 November 2008
2 years 17 weeks
22) Learn how to correctly say Jason's name...it sounds like this - Jaysiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnn. Very good. Lather, rinse, repeat.
23) Stay away from windows while running into the arms of/hugging/dancing with any mobsters
22 January 2008
12 min 41 sec
75. Always keep your Victoria Secret charge card balance paid down. You never know when you might need a new P.I. outfit.
8 May 2008
7 weeks 11 hours
Don't go into warehouses without armed guards.
Run away from PC and never to be seen or heard from again, LOL.
12 February 2009
41 weeks 1 day
- .....never a good idea to sleep with your step-father
10 May 2008
1 hour 22 min
#48 - Learn to shoot with your eyes closed.
#49 - Always, always drop out of nowhere with a pair of panties into the arms of your ex-mobster boyfriend.
#50 - Never solve anything on your own, always expect Jasiiiinnnnnn to be the hero.
#51 - Seriously, there is nothing wrong with having a new job every six months!
#52 - Don't forget to stalk said ex-mobster boyfriend at every turn, even in scenes that don't make sense when he is looking at any and everything BUT your face!
15 July 2008
2 days 5 hours
24. Use my personal trainer and my hair stylist because I have the most smokin body and beautiful hair in all of Port Charles - esp. since that disgustingly gorgeous Anna DeVane left town and that chick with the guns over at Case de Corinthos is about to start showing her pregnancy LOL
25. Dont be afraid to try different things - even if it doesnt always work out or isnt always what you thought it would be. Its important to find your passion in life instead of settling for whatever job that comes along and pays the bills. If you dream of being an artist go for it. If you want to be a PI or a television host, go for it. If you want to be a lawyer like mom, go for it. Life is about the journey.
26. Remember that I will always have your back. Nothing you could ever say or do could make me leave Port Charles and never speak to you again. Its hard to imagine, but some people have siblings and parents that leave PC and never even send a Christmas card. I even know this one woman that works at the same hospital as her brother and still he never tries to see her.
27. Dont have children and expect Grandma to do all the babysitting. Some people have a sweet wonderful G-Ma that doesnt mind being taken advantage of, but two of your G-Mas have passed and step G-Ma Helena doesnt play.
26 June 2008
15 hours 47 min
28. Remember to always use protection. One night stands can have some consequences of the baby variety. If it happens once, don't fret, just don't let it happen AGAIN. Then you look kind of stupid...
25 September 2008
41 weeks 2 days
29. Remember to shower between each if you sleep with more than one man in the same night.
22 February 2009
1 year 22 weeks
30. If you ever get knocked up, which will probably happen within the next couple of years, more than likely by a mobster and lose that baby, use his/her death as an excuse for every bad thing you ever do.
Extra Points: a) If you find out you cant have any more kids.
b) Using your brothers mental illness is always good for an excuse too.
22 August 2008
2 years 10 weeks
31. If u do happen to get knocked up make sure before the guy kicks you to the curb that he has a best friend with a nice comfy couch for you to live on
22 January 2008
12 min 41 sec
101. If you see cricket legs in your bloomers, make an appointment with someone at Cousin Nikolas's clinic...
22 January 2008
12 min 41 sec
102. It's perfectly okay to use Michael's brain injury to con and kill unsuspecting men. Later, when your boyfriend asks you about it, cry, sniffle a lot, look up to the sky and run your fingers through your hair...a lot. Everyone will forgive you.
1 June 2008
1 year 14 weeks
32. don't be near someone that your step monster want him dead .. you will get hurt
33. there is only one man that will save you only one man that will love you only one man that will take care of your children only one man that will let a loser raise his son.. JASON
22 January 2008
12 min 41 sec
103. Mommy gets cross if you sleep with one of her husbands on the floor like a wild animal in heat that wandered in through the back door looking for food.
22 January 2008
12 min 41 sec
2074. Always listen to nice Nurse Elizabeth. She is truly the sweetest, most wonderful person in the WHOLE wide town!
8 May 2008
7 weeks 11 hours
1. Don't go into bars where you be hit on by older men.
2. Don't sign a long term contract with the show because Guza going to ruined you like all the other characters on here.
3. Stay away from Jason because you will be shot at.
4. Live with your cousin Nik.
5. Work at the hospital and overhear conversations.
14 December 2008
6 days 11 hours
Lol, all of these are too funny!
24 January 2008
29 weeks 4 days
luke - i am truly impressed with your incredible restraint! thanks for not bashing my girl!
16 August 2007
1 hour 46 min
lol....I tried to be fair!
29 April 2009
3 years 32 weeks
34. Don't trust anyone who says they want to make you a star of a tv show, because you don't really have the talent so there will always be a sinister reason behind the offer.
24 January 2008
29 weeks 4 days
Luke - you did an excellent job of being fair!
By the way, I loved your use of history for your list. The way the show is written, it seems like they don't want you to remember anything past the last 24 hours.
15 July 2008
2 days 5 hours
101.B If you see cricket legs in your bloomers, make an appointment with someone at Cousin Nikolas's clinic
and then ask your lover if he has been cheating on you with Hosabeth cause you can be pretty sure thats where the investation started.